If Stephen Charnock ran a parenting class

Saying things in a way most don't today

A lot of the preaching in our church is expository. We work our our way, week by week, through books of the Bible. However, every so often, we teach the Bible topically, standing back to consider what the whole of Scripture says on a particular subject. Kensingon Baptist Church is currently in the middle of such a series called ‘the journey of life’. From conception, through childhood, adolescence, adulthood and mid-life, to our older years, dieing and assisted suicide, over 10 weeks we are hearing what God has to say about each stage. From the comments people have made to me, it seems to be proving a helpful series so far.

I preached on childhood a few weeks ago. As is often the case, there were lots of things that I thought about in my preparation that I didn’t have time to mention in my sermon. One of these was a reflection which Steven Charnock had on parenting. Whilst he didn’t take up the subject often in his preaching, he did touch on it towards the end of one of his sermons. I thought that what he said was so helpful I would share it here.

Regeneration and education

One of the areas that Charnock seems to have preached on a lot was regeneration. This is the term that theologians use to refer to the process by which God brings new spiritual life to a person. Charnock produced at least five discourses on the topic, and in the first of these he sought to teach his congregation that regeneration was absolutely necessary. It was necessary in order to serve God, and it was necessary to enjoy the privileges of knowing him. Moreover, regeneration was necessary for experiencing God’s glory in heaven.

Unsurprisingly, much of Charnock’s discussion was rather theological. However, as he got towards the end of his discussion, he started to get practical. And one of the first areas to which he applied his reflections was parenting. ‘If regeneration be so absolutely necessary’, he asked, ‘how should Christians parents endeavour all they can to have their children regenerate?’

Parents are often concerned that they leave their children money and property. However, Charnock urged his hearers to be more concerned about their spiritual legacy. ‘In leaving the one to your children, you leave them but earth; in leaving the other, you convey heaven to them.’

Charnock considered that parents were under a particular responsibility to teach their children the things of God. This was not just because of the affection which parents have for their children. In a point that I haven’t heard someone make today, Charnock reminded the parents in his congregation that ‘[t]here is an obligation upon you [because] their old polluted nature was derived from you’. The reason that children need to be regenerated is because their parents need to be too. The sinful nature which was first unleashed into humanity through the sin of our first parents has passed to our children through us, their immediate parents. As a result, Charnock thought that parents were under a particular obligation to their children to make amends by trying to pass on God’s grace to them by spiritual instruction. Or, as he rather frankly put it, ‘you made them children of wrath, why will you not endeavour to make them children of God and heirs of heaven?’

As I say, this point is not one you hear people make today. But it’s something that I suspect most parents see the truth of. Well, at least partly. One of the most sobering realities of parenting is seeing some of your particular flaws emerge in the behaviour of your children. It might be anger, impatience, or impulsiveness, many of the sins which children commit they learn from their parents. And what’s more they may pick up the same mannerisms or turn of phrase that go with it. Telling of your child can sometimes bring with it the strange sensation of chastising a little image of yourself.

Charnock’s advice to parents recognises this, but takes it a step further. Because, if parents are responsible for passing onto their children certain of the sins they see, why not their flawed condition more generally? The Bible plainly teaches that all of us were sinful from the moment of our conception (Psalm 51:5). We inherited our sinful nature ultimately from Adam and Eve. But that inheritance spread to us through our mum and dad (Romans 5:12). All Charnock is trying to do is to help his congregation come to terms with that and to take responsibility for what it means for the parenting of their children. Parents have a responsibility to do all they can for their regeneration.

Right responsibilities

It’s worth clarifying, however, that Charnock did not think that parents could regenerate their children, any more than someone could regenerate themselves. As he said, ‘[e]ducation of itself will not produce this noble work, nor the bare hearing of the word, or any outward means whatsoever, by their own strength’. That, having been said, God often used the work of parents in his work of regenerating their children. He went on, ‘the Spirit doth often bless [children], and very much, and I doubt not but a great number that are regenerate had the first seeds sown in them by a religious education. And I have made this observation in many.’

As well as his experience in the late-1600s, Charnock could also look to examples from Scripture. Top of the list was Timothy. Commenting on the religious education that was given him by his mother and grandmother, Charnock noted that, although Timothy’s conversion seems to have come from Paul’s preaching, ‘yet no question his religious instructions from his parents did much facilitate this work.’ Whilst parents do not have the power to regenerate, they nonetheless have the responsibility to educate.

Taking it to heart

The net result of this was that parents should be single minded in their work of teaching their children about Jesus and his gospel. ‘Use all endeavour, therefore, to convince them of the necessity of a new birth, be earnest with them till you see it produced’, he concluded. This was so that their children ‘may not curse you for being the instruments of their beings, but bless you for being the instruments of their spiritual life.’

People from the past tended to say things in a way that many wouldn’t today. And sometimes that can make us feel uncomfortable. But whilst it’s tempting to reject their views out of hand, it is often better to hear them as voices that aren’t captive to the oversights many of us have these days.

So don’t reject Charnock’s advice right away. If you are a parent, take it to heart. And, if you are not, do all that you can to support the parents you know in the work God has given them in teaching their children the ways of the Lord.